Last night, before I sleep, he popped out of my mind. I’m tired, then I cried again, (too much drama) I’m missing him. I made a promise that I will never ever give him up. Though he didn’t ask for it, because I believe it’s my fate that he and I are meant for each other. But I’m tired of crying over non-sense. I decided to let go of my feelings. I will never contact him again. Promise.
Then early this morning, I continue to read my Naruto comics since it’s my favorite. I like this chapter, Naruto reminds me of myself.
Jiraiya:Forget about Sasuke. Sasuke himself decided to go to Orochimaru. No matter what you do, he won’t change. Don’t think about bringing him back… that’s the kind of thinking that a fool would do.
Naruto:He may be nothing to you! But he’s a friend to me!!
Jiraiya:Do friends injure their companions?! Look at your current condition!!
Naruto:This… this is…
Jiraiya: Forget about Sasuke! Sooner or later, you must face your fate. Don’t suffer anymore... Forget him, remove him from your mind.. If you want to live as Shinobi, you must be wise. If you’re a fool… then it will be a world full of pain. That’s reality..
Naruto:I understand… If that’s what it means to be wise… I’d be happier living as a fool!
Jiraiya:A fool is a fool, but… only a moron would do something like that.
Naruto’s line inspires me… yeah, I’d be happier living as a fool. So pathetic but at least I didn’t give up. I want him back. Again, I change my mind. I will never give up. No one told me to suffer like this, to live my life miserable. It’s my choice. I will win him back, that’s a promise of a lifetime. Indeed, I’m a fool. Thanks Naruto.
Yehey! Again and again! My practice render.. :) i know i know, not perfect! Madaming error.. Still working for Emissive, proper settings for Skylight :) and positioning of camera.. :)
Monday, July 12, 2010.. Around 5pm.. So I was sitting in a jeepney on my way home. As usual traffic jam sa Sauyo Market + hot, humid day + heavy baggage because of my laptop and loads of work that needs to be done + negative thoughts, fidgety, no focus, seems like finding something that can make me feel better + taba is playing on my mind + missing him +teary eyes =BUANG.
I felt my tears falling down my cheek,suddenly biglang natauhan..I notice people are staring at me. Nakakahiya, sobrang stress.. Then I simply ignore them and just dished out my money for jeep fare. Myphone vibrate…I check on it. -One new text message has arrived, Select “GO TO” to view it now-From taba. Were having a conversation kasi about are relationship, cause we just broke up 2weeks ago. That’s the reason why Im so BUANG. While reading it and trying to stop myself for being so emotional, aside from I made a promise not to cry anymore, nasa public place ako at ayokong mgkalat ng kahihiyan.
I wasn’t aware whats goin on, I heard voice, I think she’s yellin, maingay din kasi ang HATAW jeep na nasakyan ko. Yun pala, may magnanakaw. Puntirya nya, cellphone ko. Since im lost, I ignore the Ale and continue texting.. (with teary eyes).
I saw a teenager, black skin, black shirt and shorts, with matching Goodmorning towel hanging from his shoulder, with emo hair, parang adik a.k.a. JEJEMON. Sumisilip sa bintana ng jeep, I knew it… He’s a snatcher. I knew he was gonna grab my phone. Hindi na ako nagulat. Seriously, wala ako pakelam sa paligid ko. I don’t even care kung kunin man nya phone ko. But still, hindi ko binigay. Naisip ko na it’s a Palm Treo, Mahal. Kapag nawala, walang pambili ng bago. He’s trying to snatch it, Mas lalong humigpit ang hawak ko..He still trying to get it, then my phone slip away from my grip… Buti nakarecover, Nahawakan ko ulit. It took 10seconds bago sya sumuko, 10 sec is long para sa isang eksenang nakakatakot. While this incident is happening, seryoso, feeling ko my background music ako ng Heartbeat then konting slowmotion… Kala ko movie… Then sumuko sya, he just ran away. I mean he just walk away.. Parang sanay na sa masamang Gawain. No one helps me, the Ale yell at me again, pero di ko sya marinig, parang slowmotion pa din ang lahat, seryoso. Nakatingin ako sa labi nya, trying to read her lips, but my thought is too loud, I cannot concentrate. The passengers are smirking, saying.. “Buti ndi ka nadale, txt ka kasi ng text” Alam ko, it’s my fault.Pero ndi niyo ko tinulungan, are you saying that I deserve it kasi burara ako? Sana pla I let the thief na kunin ang phone ko, baka sumaya pa sila lalo. Lalo ako nanlambot, saka ko naramdaman yung takot. Good thing, he didn’t hurt me. He didn’t stab me. Naisip ko he’s still a good man, yung iba jan, makanakaw lang, pag nanlaban ka, sasaksakin ka pa. The passengers still, ako ang topic, pero im ignoring them, hindi naman sila makakatulong sa akin. Tapos I pray, thank God walang nangyari sakin. Super thank you.
Naisip ko, lahat ng tao my problema, my problem is not the worst, actually I am blessed, pero hindi sa lovelife. Some people have to do stuff against the law just to survive, some people have to act like an animal even if they hurt others just to have what they want.. Pampalubag-loob, pero not effective for me.
After what happen, never na ko nglabas any gadgets in public, kahit bored na ako sa traffic, ndi na ko na nilalabas ipod ko, madameng masamang elemento nakakalat sa tabi, kung mayaman ka, pagkalandakan mo gadgets mo, pero kung katulad mo ako na hirap mg ipon para makabili ng mga bagay na ndi nmn gaano ka importante, just keep it, for your own safety na din. Keep safe everyone.
I’ve watched I love you goodbye last last night since holiday naman. There are lines na nakarelate ako, then suddenly, di ko napansin I’ve got teary eyes na pala. The movie reminds me of him. Then bigla na lang ako humagulgol cause I’m missing him so so much.. And I can’t get over him. I prayed, asking God for help. Help me na makalimutan sya.. Help me to stop loving him. Haay.. Tapos bigla ko nakatulog, nakatulog sa iyak.
Tapos I had a dream.. That I am dead. As in chugi.. Deadbull.. I don’t know if its just a dream or totoo, pero before that nabangungot kasi ako, I want to get up pero ambigat ng pakiramdam ko.. Then ayun, bgla na lang ako nanaginip. Im not sure..
I heard voice. A man’s voice. We’ve talk pa nga.
Jac:Halah! Asan ako?
The place was like.. err.. parang isang garage..futuristic.. I can describe it as “FUTURISTIC GARAGE”?? Parang work station ni IronMan.. Weird noh..
Jac:Gusto kong bumalik sa bahay.. Shit nasan ba ako.
(Not exactly the dialogue pero kasama yung shit! Hehe)
MV (Mysterious Voice): Patay ka na..
Jac:Takte! Gusto ko makabalik!!! Andami ko pa gusto gawin!!
Super weird, kaya feeling ko panaginip lang. Pati mga lines ko sa dream pang telenovela.
MV:O sige,kung gusto mo talaga makabalik, follow my instruction.. Pumili ka which way ka dadaan.
After a moment, biglang nag iba ung settings, there are 3doors, Sana I have time to draw para mas ma visualize niyo dream ko. 2doors are black, and the other is white. Super weird, grabe. At promise, Taglish talaga si MV.. hehe.. Then I chose… di ko matandaan. Hindi ko alam why di ko matandaan..
After a few moment, wala ko Makita kundi light lang. tapos super white ung lugar. Nakakasilaw. Now this is really weird, Pang telenovela talaga ung setting.. I ignore it lang..
Mas lalong nagging weird, naging bilihan ng tinapay ung setting.. haha! Andun na yung family ko, Im looking at them, then my ate hug me.. Im kinda confused kasi never nman kame naging close. Sa isip ko, “anung problema nito??”
Joan:Jac!! Andaming tinapay oh! Tara bili tayo! Tapos there are 2bakeries.
MV:Pili ka kung san ka bibili. Kahit ano bilin mo.
Jac:Bakit andaming tinapay??
I open my wallet, andaming pera!! So si ako naman, orayt! Sige bili!
Then my mom ask me na bili sya ng hopia.. Hehehe. Ang weird talga..
So nakabili na nga. Then after we pay all of them. Joan pulled me sa next bakery..
Joan:Aaay, mas masarap pla dito. Mas madame pa.. bili tayo nito jac!
MV:Hindi na pwede, pinili mo na ang isa. Hindi pwedeng dalawa ang pabilhan mo.
(talking to me)
Hindi ko alam kung naririnig ni Joan ung voice, parang ndi kasi na mention sa dream ko. Hehe..
Tapos nakalimutan ko na ung iba. Basta nakita ko lang duon is ung dream house namin magkakapatid for mama.. Ang ganda! Sobrang simple..
Ang last na natandaan ko.. im in a box, naka hati sya horizontally. Black and white again, kasama ko si teresa Navarro. Ewan ko why involve sya. Gulo. Tpos we hold hands,
MV:Wag kaung bibitaw. Just hold tight. Wag aapak sa kulay itim. Wag lalagpas sa bahaging madilim.. Mag antay ka hanggang sa makarating ka sa realidad.
Huh?? Realidad.. Panaginip ba talaga to.. So surreal..
Jac:Tere, hawak ka sakin. Wag kang bibitaw.
Tere:Hindi talaga ko bibitaw, gusto ko din makabalik noh!
Then i saw tere’s hand, hinawakan ko ng mahigpit, blurry p nga ung paningin ko sa dream.
After a few moment,nakabalik na kame sa Futuristic Garage.
Jac:Wag ka muna bumitiw sakin! Wala pa tayo sa realidad. Eto ung kaninang pinanggalingan ko.
Tere:Tangeks, dito na tayo. :Lage ka na lang kasi walang tiwala., kaya nagkaganyan kayong dalawa.”
WTF?? Eto ba mga answers s prayers ko? God is lecturing me because of my mistakes. Baka eto ung paraan para malaman ko lahat ng mali ko. Ang weird. Baka ganito sya makipag contact sa mga taong humihingi ng tulong sa kanya?
Jac:Hindi, baka kasi hindi na tayo makabalik eh! Mahirap na!
Tere:Lage ka na lang naninigurado. Eh hindi naman lahat ng alam mo tama.
Anu ba to, parang lahat na lang ng sinasabe nya may laman. Gulo.
Then tere step aside, trying to lose from my grip. Binitawan ko. We both step out sa malaking box. Nakita ko mama ko sa labas ng garage. Pero hindi pa daw ako pwedeng lumabas. Kasi my monster daw sa labas, huh??
Unti unti ng nagiging morbid ung dream ko.
Nakalimutan ko na ibang scene. Hindi ko na din maintindihan mga pangyayari, may nangbabasa pa ng tubig sa panaginip ko para hindi ako makalabas sa Futuristic Garage. Hehe.
Tapos, hindi ko na alam, bigla ako nagising. 6pm na! Lagpas 12hrs akong tulog.
Hindi ko manintindihan ung panaginip ko. Basta ang alam ko, may gustong iparating, Ewan. Kelangan ko ata ng Dream Catcher, Whatever it is, I have to analyze muna. Kapag alam ko na. Im gonna write it down here.
It’s more than well known that Stephanie Meyer comes from a Mormon background. The same goes for J.K. Rowling and her Christian origins. Both writers display their religious beliefs prominently in their work but in very different manners. Now here’s the thing. I’m down for writers showing off their personal beliefs in their work, but it’s how they do it that matters. The Harry Potter series is rife with Christian themes and allusion. Some believe Harry Potter is a Jesus figure, lost at youth only to return in his later years to fight a force of evil. Upon his return, he starts a movement and gains a following. And his future? Well, you’ll have to read the books to find that out, or wait until 2011. But at the end of the day, he doesn’t have to represent that. The story works independent from that theme. The Twilight series, on the other hand, works almost exclusively as a campaign for abstinence and the evilness of male hormones. The story treats sexuality as a disease, as a vampire. A boy who is trouble because he can’t hold back his urges for a girl. A girl who can’t help but be attracted to that boy. And later in the series? Well, once again, you’ll just have to wait and see.
Dweebs > Emos
Harry Potter fans and Twilight fans generally come from two very different worlds. Potter is for dweebs. Twilight is for emos. Yes, it can be argued that both series have diverse fan bases that run that gamut from little kids to grandmas, but that’s not fun. Generalizing is where it’s at. Emo kids are “dark.” They speak in bad poetry and overly descriptive prose. They are tortured by the fact that their lovers left them bleeding and alone, dying for more, gasping just to catch a small breath. Dweebs never had the lover to begin with. They hang out in the darkest corners of their respective high schools, playing wizard games and Dungeons and Dragons. They go to that awkward store in the mall that sells swords and Lord of the Rings memorabilia. They don’t just look around in awe at the existence of such a store; they actually buy stuff. So I guess both groups of are pretty lame. But at least dweebs are usually smart, right?
Hogwarts > Forks
There is no part of me that doesn’t believe that Hogwarts exists. How could it not? There’s no way that Rowling could have come up with all of that by herself. Whether it be through the books or through the films, Rowling’s world engulfs you, transports you into a completely different universe. She’s created languages, species, and a plethora of spells. So much detail has gone into the creation of this world that it’s hard to not get lost in it. In contrast, the world that Meyer has created in Forks, Washington is just like the city: kind of boring and bland with a lack of diversity. The vampire back story is sloppy and kind of cheesy and the little bit of history we see of the werewolves in Twilight is tired and unimaginative. And that’s all there is. Clearly Twilight is less occupied with giving us a world we can live in than it is in shoving a tedious love story down our throats.
Fairy Tales > Teen Tales
One of the most important tools in the arts of literature and film is allusion. Authors and screenwriters use it all of the time. It’s less copying and more an acknowledgement of what came before, what influenced the words that you write, knowing where you came from. One would think that a work like Twilight would include allusions to previous vampire and werewolf books or movies, but Meyer didn’t seem to read any of them, as her versions of these monsters hardly fall in line with what came before. Instead, they are neutered versions of these classic characters. Edward lacks fangs, sparkles in the sun rather than burns. Oh and he doesn’t drink human blood. He’s over that. Duh. Harry Potter not only do its best to call back to the fantasy stories that came before it, it also adds on to the lore with new characters and more detailed origins. There are elves and giants and centaurs, all of which are familiar but at the same time, brand new. There’s something pleasing about a writer alluding to great works. It’s better than alluding to 90210.
Speaking to Kids > Talking Down to Kids
One of the hardest things to do is relate to kids. Educators struggle with it constantly. If you attempt to talk to them as if you’re one of them, it can come off as condescending, belittling, and at worst, stupid. This is exactly what Twilight does. It feels like that teacher you had in school who would say things like “dude” and “tubular” and “do you dig it?” This is the hip-hoppin’ grandpa. Harry Potter never talks down to its audience, frequently putting common youthful feelings of loss, sexual awkwardness, and friendship at the forefront of its themes. While Potter is fighting He Who Must Not Be Named, he is also dealing with complicated relationships that suffer due to jealousy and lying. Even though Potter deals with things that a boy his age never should and probably never would, he never feels older than he is. On the other hand, Twilight’s characters are stuck as caricatures, merely archetypes with no real voices or unique voices.
Cedric Diggory > Edward Cullen
When Twilight first began gaining a larger fan base, it was instantly touted as the new Harry Potter. Then the first film’s cast was announced, and surprisingly enough, the same guy who played a fairly prominent character in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire was named to play Twilight’s lead dude. That actor’s name, as you know, is Robert Pattinson. In the Potter flicks, he plays Cedric Diggory, a charismatic and honest upper classman at Hogwarts. Pattinson played the kid just as he should have, using his handsome looks for good with enough restraint to make the character both believable and sympathetic. Pattinson’s acting in Twilight is an entirely different story. The dude looks like he’s constipated most of the movie, and his cold nature comes off more contrived than real. Who knows? Maybe something was lost with the American accent, or maybe a lead role just wasn’t a fit for him. All I know is that he played a dead dude way better in Potter than he did in Twilight.
Best Buy Effects > Wal Mart Effects
If I could, I would include only two words under this heading: sparkling faces. There is not a single, more pathetic example of Twilight’s special effects than the sparkling faces of the Cullen family. But to leave it at that would deny the flick’s other awful effects their due. There is of course the light speed effect seen when any of the vampire characters run. And even worse, the climbing scene where Bella rides Edward’s back as he glides up the stump of a tree in his backyard. I’ll be first to admit that the computer graphics in the first two Potter films were laughable, but the movies have evolved very nicely. Check out Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire for a few amazing sequences during the Tri-Wizard Cup or the final battle of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix between Dumbledore and Voldemort. The movies have grabbed hold of the epic nature of their source material and owned it, while Twilight hangs flaccidly off the screen, depending on special effects dredged up out of a dollar store bargain bin.
Hermione > Bella
Let’s just admit it to ourselves. Sure, Kristen Stewart has her days, but Emma Watson has more. We’ve seen her grow from a frizzy-haired snob into a wide-eyed witch, and sure, she’s still a bit bossy, but isn’t that the best part? No one likes a pathetic girl throws herself at guys. Everyone wants a chase. That’s the world we live in. We want what we can’t have, and Hermione is willing to not let us have her. She’s willing to play her little witch games. Poor Ron Weasley is left wondering, “is she mental?” while poor Edward Cullen is stuck in a relationship I’m pretty sure he regrets.
Copied from somewhere. I forgot my source na. Basta not my original.
My first time to use sketch up 7 with V-RAY and i think i kinda nailed it. Hehehe.. Nakakapressure ang self study.. :) Pwede na to sa isang baguhan kagaya ko pero i need to improve pa syempre. Practice makes perfect! And sana someone can share their techniques in rendering :) Lalo na sa proper lightings!
I use Autocad for modeling, some of the furnitures ay download from net, then the bottle of wine, champagne glass ay photoshop lang. Super rush for the presentation of my designs.. :) Kaya pasensya na..
MY LABYRINTH
